Only in LA, by Steve Harvey

One more reason why L.A.'s the Entertainment Capital of the World: Leaving a Clippers game the other night, I passed a street person who was chanting to passersby: "50 pushups for a dollar, 50 pushups for a dollar."


Unclear on the Concept

ferris-bueller-label.jpgA friend of ours lives in the Long Beach house inhabited by Matthew Broderick in the movie, "Ferris Bueller's Day Off." The home, being in Southern California (not in Chicago, as the movie portrayed it), is featured on various websites. Some folks apparently think "Ferris Bueller" was a documentary, not a work of fiction. Twice my buddy's family has received junk-mail solicitations addressed to Ferris, including one from a Trenton, N.J., health care provider.


Rescuing the Oscars

One idea I have for improving the slumping ratings of the Academy Awards is to add a new category: Best Theater Marquee. I've gotten more laughs out of such signs than I have from some entire movies. Here are three of my favorites. (Maybe some day I'll get the Jean Hersholt Humanitarian Award for this suggestion.)

sh-romeo-marquee.jpg

sh-rialto-marquee.jpgsh-marquee-closed.jpg


How about an award for Best Supporting Biker...

Don't know if you caught it, but Octavia Spencer ("The Help") told Jay Leno that, before she received her Best Supporting Actress nomination, her car stalled on Sunset Boulevard. Passers-by whizzed by without taking notice---all except one motorcyclist. When he took off his helmet, with its darkened visor, she recognized him as actor Keanu Reeves. All of a sudden, Spencer said she was besieged by motorists and passersby wishing to help out.


This sounds like a horror movie title

Die-Thru Pharmacy.jpg

Whatever it is, blogger Jay Christensen says he's avoiding this Valley pharmacy.


My favorite sports marquee

sh-super-bowel.jpgA reader sent me this disastrous misspelling from Orange County a few years ago. (Of course, people HAVE been known to over-eat and over-drink at the event.)

Tales of the Metro Rail

A man boarded the Blue Line the other day carrying a 6-foot-cross, and attempted to convert the riders. He didn't have much luck. Nor did the fellow who commandeered one Blue Line car on another day and, in a verbal group message, appealed for handouts---first in English, then in Spanish. As usual no security was present.

There was drama aplenty on the morning a rider demanded (unsuccessfully) a seat occupied by another's bewigged mannequin head. Much cursing ensued though the mannequin remained quiet.

On another run, the Blue Line slammed to a halt between stops, prompting talk that a pedestrian had been hit. Suddenly it started up again and a voice over the intercom proclaimed, "I didn't run over nobody!"

Metro Rail ought to consider a slogan along the lines of: "Always an Adventure!"


Here's animal trick I bet you haven't seen on the Internet

sh-golfing-dogs.jpgOfficials at Mission Viejo High School have banned golfing hounds from the grounds.

Food for thought

sh-elusive-dinner.jpgI've encountered lots of elusive waiters in the my time. But reader Paula Van Gelder found a place with elusive food.


MiscelLAny

Winners at the recent Southern California Sports Broadcasters luncheon were quick to single out their idols, especially Vin Scully, for inspiration. The 84-year-old Scully, of course, was not to be outdone. When he received an award, he told the crowd: "My inspiration is Betty White."


That's it

sh-noexit-door.jpgI'm done, if I can just find a way out.


More by Steve Harvey:
Only in LA: The signs are out there
Only in LA: It's that season
Only in LA: Up the down city
Only in LA: Happy tax season
Only in LA: Valentine's daze
Previous Native Intelligence story: Walking through Hollywood history

Next Native Intelligence story: No excuse for language abuse

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