Spoofing Nora Ephron

The author and screenwriter contributed a blog entry on Condoleezza Rice to the Huffington Post over the weekend that begins:

I met Condoleezza Rice last weekend. She was much prettier than I thought she was going to be. This was at the State Department dinner the night before the Kennedy Center Honors. She was wearing a beautiful green evening dress, and she looked great. That gap between her front teeth is not as bad in person as it is on television.

've always wanted to talk to Condi about that gap because it's very easy to fix and I know a good celebrity dentist who can do the job in less than twenty-four hours. He's expensive but Condi makes a decent salary, and let's face it, she hasn't picked up a check for the last six years, so she can afford it.

Anyway, Condi was the hostess of the dinner, and she stood up to speak about each of the honorees. She was completely competent. She was, however, not at all funny. She tried to be, but she wasn't....

Actor Rick Moranis was moved to have some fun at his site with a post titled "Nora Ephron Feels Bad About Barack Obama’s Neck." It opens:

I haven’t met Barack Obama. But I’ve seen a lot of pictures and footage of him on television so I feel like I have. He has an unusually thin neck for a man of his size. He’s tall, thin and extremely handsome, which always works very well on television.

Television is supposed to put ten pounds on anyone that’s on it, but I think the ten pounds are more likely to wind up on the people who are watching it. Either way, Barack Obama could use ten pounds, specifically on his neck. (I’m not sure which is worse-Barack Obama’s neck or the gap in Condoleeza Rice’s teeth, but that’s another story.)

Andrew Sullivan has a big neck, and although he’s gay, and a conservative, I find his neck very attractive. I’ve heard Andrew got his thick neck from playing rugby. Rugby is a lot like football but involves long periods where men are pushing against other men with their heads; hence the big, muscular neck. But this is about Barack Obama, not rugby. Except that if Barack Obama had played rugby instead of going to law school, he’d have a big neck and then I wouldn’t feel so bad...