Actually, the tongue-in-cheek list at LatinoLA is titled Top 10 Mistakes You Made Last July 4, But Not This One. Favorites:
3. A Congresswoman was still asleep on the sofa on July 5th.
2. Remember, it's "Oh say, can you see", not "Jose, can you see."
1. LAPD karate-chopped you in the throat while you were looking up at fireworks display.
More July 4: Yo Venice has the Saturday street closures in the vicinity of the Marina Del Rey fireworks show.