It is 5:15 p.m. Sunday evening, Feb. 2, 2014. Do you know where your Super Bowl is?
I don't. For the last 35 minutes the channel carrying the game on my TV has been black. Is this Time Warner Cable's way of sparing me from witnessing the pasting my team was taking when the signal carrier dropped the ball?
Is this Time Warner Cable's way of promoting investment in the local bar economy?
Who knows? When I called the Time Warner Cable customer disservice line, I got the auto response: "Due to network difficulties, your call cannot be completed at this time. Please try your call later."
You mean after I've missed the Budweiser commercial with the puppy and the Clydesdale?
You mean after the Broncos either have been sent to the glue factory or managed to muster a response to the Seahawk swarm?
When I access Time Warner Cable's website for information, the pages load so slowly the energy saver darkens my screen. It looks just like channel 11 on my TV.
I'm sure, were I able to contact a human being at Time Warner Cable, I would be told, as I always am in these situations, that it's my problem; have I rebooted the box?
No, and no. We've run this play before.
On the last Friday night of the 2012 Summer Olympics, just before 8 p.m. the broadcast was interrupted with this cheery Time Warner Cable message: "One moment please," it read on the otherwise black screen. "This channel should be available shortly."
As in Saturday morning.
When my reception was intercepted today, we were deep into the second quarter, and an amusing commercial with Tim Tebow had just aired. Apparently, he's found redemption in the severance of contracts.
It's starting to rain. And now, it appears, my Super Bowl drought has ended. At 5:50, reception has been restored with 7:15 left in the third quarter. Seahawks 29, Broncos 0.
It's raining harder. The TV screen pixilates, then freezes. At 5:58 when action resumes, the men in orange have notched their third turnover.
Hmmm. Maybe the cable company's on to something.