I guess it's stating the obvious to say that these people have no shame in their pursuit of dollars. But Pink's is currently a travesty compared to what it once was. You used to be able to walk right up to the counter, say, "One with everything" and there was no doubt what you might get, only whether or not it would be handed right to you in 24 secs or 27. Now you wait for forty-five minutes, there are more menu items than at Denny's, and there's no Mitz soda. I can only stomach it once a year these days, and then only to remind myself how painful it is to see it become a hamburger-and-Coke tainted tourist trap.

Pink's also has the worst french fries in the known universe. And I miss the Mitz too, although the slogan - - Drink Mitz, Don't Schvitz - - was always better than the soda itself. But when you get right down to it, Pink's hot dogs are undeniable. Especially when you get 'em with extra kraut.

Pink's is nothing but a joke played on tourists who think standing in a line amounts to entertainment. There is no reason at all why the service at that place moves so slowly -- except that the people who run it have figured out that slowness = constant crowds = the appearance of something happening. It's the bastard offspring of a hot dog stand and a nightclub that keeps the wannabees lined up behind a velvet rope for hours. ... Might be a fine setting for a sitcom, I'll admit, but it's a lousy place to eat.

I've enjoyed a lot of your columns, Mr. Gold, but here's some extra thanks to you for writing this line, "the counterman appeared like an apparition out of a cloud of warm, hot-dog-scented steam that made the glass-enclosed kitchen look like the inside of a bong."