Best Maxwell Smart heds are already taken

AP photo of Don AdamsDon Adams, Agent 86 on the "Get Smart" TV show created by Mel Brooks and Buck Henry in 1965, died Sunday at Cedars-Sinai. He was 82 and had been ill since breaking his hip last year. The ubiquitous "lung infection" finally got him. Note the cig in the photo with his beloved Agent 99, Barbara Feldon. Working together as secret agents for Control, they battled the evil of KAOS with witty banter and supressed desire for just five seasons. But in residual cultural memory, it's as if the show never stopped.

KAOS Agent: Look, I'm a sportsman. I'll let you choose the way you want to die.
Max: All right, how about old age?

Defamer: Sorry about that, Chief
Sploid: Sorry about that, chief
Cathy Seipp: Would you believe?
LAT: Don Adams, Star of 'Get Smart,' Dies at 82

All right, a few more Smartian bon mots:

Senator: Mr. Smart, how many arrests did Control make last year?
Maxwell Smart: I don't know.
Senator: Who's the number one man in your organization?
Maxwell Smart: I don't know.
Senator: How many cases were assigned to Control last year?
Maxwell Smart: I don't know.
Senator: What would you do if you were fired, Mr. Smart?
Maxwell Smart: They can't fire me. I know too much.

Agent 99: Oh, Max, how terrible.
Maxwell Smart: He deserved it, 99. He was a Kaos killer.
Agent 99: Sometimes I wonder if we're any better, Max.
Maxwell Smart: What are you talking about, 99? We have to shoot and kill and destroy. We represent everything that's wholesome and good in the world.

Maxwell Smart: You can't do that, Chief. Hymie's my friend.
Chief: Your friend busted into my office, said he was going to kill me, smashed my desk to pieces, and almost strangled me with his bare hands.
Maxwell Smart: Well, I said he was my friend, not yours.

Purloined from IMDB, which has plenty more where those came from.

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