Esquire: In the December "Best and Brightest" issue, Colby Buzzell takes on an unruly quest across Los Angeles "in search of things that make it good to be alive. In search of talent. Drink, joke, woman. Cultural essay of L.A." The quest takes him west on Sunset, left on La Brea, south till Wilshire, then right to the Beverly Hills offices of The Schiff Company for an agents meeting. Jack Vener tells him: "To be honest with you, most of our talent that we've signed in the last year has come from New York, Detroit, Australia, and Hong Kong….I don't think we've signed anybody who was a Los Angeles native or who is actually living or working out here. Unless they are a writer." Hyde, Largo, Pink's, Pinkberry, Fred 62 and The Comedy Store all come up in the piece, which singles out comedian Greg Proops:

Proops, as it turned out, is the funniest man in L.A., with kinda retro hair and glasses and an interesting voice and mannerisms that kept it interesting the entire time he was onstage—superenergetic with a witty, intelligent kind of observational humor. On another night, he'd bring down the house hard when he called Paul McCartney's estranged wife, Heather, "Pogo Ono. She shills for a land-mine charity, but frankly she's 50 percent less likely to be injured by a land mine."

Also in Esquire: Props for Rose Ann DeMoro of the California Nurses Association for doing battle with Gov. Schwarzenegger, The Pop-Up Book of Celebrity Meltdowns by Heather Havrilesky et al and Dana Delany with this month's Twelve things you don't know about women. Plus: USC film school alum and actress Paula Patton gives the punchline to the joke "How many actors does it take to screw in a lightbulb?" Answer after the jump below.

Harper's Bazaar: The "Best Dressed Issue" visits in the iconic Chemosphere house overlooking the Valley with Lauren Taschen, new wife of publisher and adopted Angeleno Benedikt Taschen. They shop at the Rose Bowl flea market and have party guests like Julius Shulman and Matt Groening.

How many actors does it take to change a lightbulb?

Five. One to climb up the ladder and screw it in, and four to say, "That should have been me." Link