Author Neal Pollack, a confirmed Dodgers junkie, ventured out to the stadium's new family-friendly right field pavilion and endured nine innings of all-you-can-eat madness. His guide in today's Slate explains that, for $35 per person (five bucks more if you show up on game day) the Dodgers promise that "fans could gorge like George Kennedy in The Naked Gun. The menu would include nachos, hot dogs, peanuts, popcorn, and soft drinks, what one Dodger PR flack called 'basic ballpark fare that most fans enjoy.'" Pollack says he usually self-caters a bag of gourmet fare when he goes to games: "Still, I'm an American, and am therefore genetically engineered to appreciate the prospect of unlimited food consumption."

So, I set forth toward the pavilion Saturday night with a friend who I will refer to here as The Rabbi. Unlike me, The Rabbi isn't a food snob or a cheap-ass. He is, however, a vegetarian. But that didn't mean he took our mission any less seriously. "I'm planning to eat a lot of nachos tonight," The Rabbi said....

A half-hour after arriving at the park, we headed for our seats. I swallowed four Walgreens-brand antacids with a gulp of Sprite and prepared to eat. But The Rabbi had already begun. He held up an empty nacho container.

"What's my time?" he asked.

"About two minutes," I said.

Then he let out a tremendous belch.

"Oh God," he said. "It burns!"

It hurts just to read what he ate, including a nacho dog concoction The Rabbi says "represents the best of American and Mexican culture on one bun." Hat tip to Dodger Thoughts, which refers to the controversy over the Scott Avenue gate as the Billy Preston gate, as in the "dormant fifth entrance/exit to Dodger Stadium." Chicken Corner is still all over the issue from the Echo Park perspective.

Graphic by Slate