By now youíve had a chance to read the new script pages written by Jerry Lazar and maybe even start thinking about where youíll take the story when you deliver your pages.
But what about the entries that didnít make the final cut? Sooner or later I hope to get with Kevin and design a way to post some of the weekly runners-up on the site as well. For now, though, Iíll just point out what I liked about two of last weekís submissions and discuss why, despite their merit, they werenít chosen for our script.
In Linda Jordanís version, within seconds of Russ Napolitano taking over the mike at his Brentwood reception, heís bumped off by an unseen assassin. Jordan, a longtime Angeleno now living in the Bay Area, quickly introduces a couple of detectives who presumably will become the storyís new protagonists. Their dialog is snappy and colorful, but I wasnít ready to say goodbye to the mayor just yet.
Dianna Brown from Kokomo, Indiana (yep, theyíve heard about the Script Project there too), has Napolitano concoct a funny tale about how he stopped to assist with the control of a car fire on Vermont, thus explaining away the condition of his suit jacket, which actually got burned and trampled in considerably less heroic circumstances. We then see a man sitting in the tentís shadows, figuring out from the mud on the mayorís shoes and the burn pattern on his coat that heís lying.
I liked Napolitanoís charm and resourcefulness and the way Dianna used a traffic motif to tie her scene to the previous one, but in the end I found the Mystery Man conceit to be a little too familiar and his unraveling of the mayorís fabrication to be unexplained except in the authorís scene description.
There were other good entries too, but that was last week. Weíve got a few days to come up with something new that will set up more of our story while driving it forward and deepening its characters, all while maintaining a consistent tone. Itís a challenge, but we only need 1-5 pages.
And then itíll be somebody elseís turn.