So we’re transitioning into Act Two of our collaborative screenplay "Right of Way," and we’ve got Napolitano inside The Order compound, getting ready to meet the cult’s Prefect Duvane, who may be responsible for all the mayor’s subway problems, not to mention three murders, and all they do is... talk?
Yep. I’ve taken writers to task here before for telling, not showing, but sometimes a little good dialog is exactly what’s needed. It was provided this week by Pasadena screenwriter Glenn Camhi, whose pages 28-31 I chose because he seemed to understand exactly what brought the mayor back to Hollywood in the dead of night and what this scene means to the film’s narrative structure.
“While it had been hinted at, I didn't see Napolitano actually wanting to learn much about The Order -- or joining it, even as a ruse,” Glenn says. “Which meant the challenge was figuring out what he came here for.
“I felt the scene had to set these two men up as adversaries for the rest of the story, even though neither of them would say most of what they're really thinking here. They're mainly sussing each other out. How much does Napolitano suspect? How involved was Duvane in any, or all, of the murders? What was Susan Harmon's significance to Larry and/or the map, or...? All of this is, of course, just beneath the surface of what they're discussing.”
Glenn may have had an advantage on a project like this. Not only has he taught a class on narrative structure, he’s also spent years performing and directing improv theatre -- a form of expression that, like ours, can take infinite wild tangents, depending on the instincts of each participant at the time.
But Glenn’s focus was on Napolitano’s relationship with Larry, and he felt it was time to examine that in the script. “Maybe he was simply a useful tool,” Glenn says, “but it seemed more interesting if Napolitano really cares about the man whose wife he's screwing. Hell, it's noir. Also, now he has a more personal motivation to carry him through Act Two.”
Since the reader can’t be completely sure how authentically Napolitano is portraying his private sentiments to Duvane, Glenn gives us a glimpse of the real deal after the scene is over. That’s when the mayor replays a message from his old friend in the car.
Was Napolitano feeling sentimental or looking for a clue? That’s for the rest of our ad hoc improv group to reveal down the road.
But for now, fasten your seatbelts. There’s a tail in the mirror, and Napolitano’s shifting into high gear.
Man does not live by dialog alone.
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