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Only in LA: Happy tax season

Easterners, as we know, tend to think of Angelenos as soft creatures who fly into a panic when it rains as much as a quarter of an inch.

The New York Times couldn't resist that stereotype in an analysis of L.A.'s low voter turnout for the mayoral election, saying that the weather on election day, "partly cloudy at 58 degrees," may have been "chilly enough to keep some Angelenos at home."

I don't know about you, but I can hardly work up the willpower to get out of bed when it's partly cloudy outside.


Why the poets say April is the cruelest month

The deadline for submitting tax returns is fast approaching. Luckily, even if you wait until the last moment, there are tax preparers everywhere, as you can see from these photos I've collected over the years.

For instance, if you want someone who can read the minds of the IRS, there's this option:

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Or, if your taxes are just killing you, you can also pick up a grave marker at this outlet:

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And, finally, if you fear you'll need to lie down before you find out how much you owe, this preparer can accommodate you:

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A little tax humor (unintentional)
Ever consider that the IRS can fine you if you make a mistake in your paperwork, but you can't fine the IRS when it makes a mistake in its paperwork?

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This month in history

"It has long been known...that the hills about Los Angeles and even the streets of the city in places yielded gold, but the excitement broke out afresh yesterday," The Times reported somewhat breathlessly on March 16, 1882.

Location of the discovery? "On Olive Street near Fifth."

Now don't go running over to dig up that intersection.

L.A.'s Gold Rush of 1882, it developed, was limited to one gentleman who "panned out $2.50." At least he didn't have to pay taxes on it.


The toughest joint in town closes...

sh-mfgourmet.jpgYes, the Grand Central Market's MF Gourmet Cafe is no more. For the record, the workers always said with a smile that the meaning of MF was "open to interpretation," perhaps meaning "mother's favorite," for all they knew. Anyway, I'm sorry I never ordered the dessert specialty. It would have been fun to yell out, 'Hey, where's the MF'ing Tiramisu, anyway?'"


Name Hall of F

Least I can do is induct MF Gourmet into my shrine of whacko signs of now defunct businesses.
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Apt w/ 4BA (all on front lawn)

There wasn't exactly a swarm of people at this one-product Long Beach yard sale. The four tubs, which were $50 apiece, needed baths themselves.

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What will they think of next?

Faithful Clippers fan Hal Lancaster noticed that the halftime entertainment at Staples Center for one game consisted of "marital" counseling. Maybe it's for spectators who were caught smooching with the wrong people on the arena's Kiss/Cam.

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Another Raiders fumble...

I don't associate "decorative ribbon" with the Oakland team — too flimsy to use as a weapon — so I wasn't surprised to find out that the Raiders' official, NFL-sanctioned product is such a poor seller that it was isolated in the clearance section of one Long Beach store. I bet Official Raiders Crime Scene Tape would be a bigger seller.

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Steve Harvey may be reached at steveharvey9@gmail.com. His Twitter handle is @sharvey9.


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