Valentine's Day is not an altogether-joyful occasion if you are still searching for Mr Right, or Miss Right, or, perhaps, Mr./Miss Right.
There's no sweatheart, excuse me, sweetheart, to receive your sentimental gift.
There are only memories of scrambled relationships.
Luckily, some companies provide marital candidates as I was reminded while perusing my "Greatest Hits_Offbeat Romances" file.
Prices these days, at least for husbands, seem reasonable.
If you are married, but things are rocky, maybe you'll be fortunate enough to battle in Staples Center.
Anyway, don't be bitter, especially you men.
Ignore what seem like taunts from the outside world.
Nothing personal. This Westside joint is really the remnant of a half-century-old pizza chain.
Perhaps you'll find a house that comes furnished with a sweatheart_oops, there I said it again_I mean, sweetheart.
It's not true, as used to be said, that romance died in L.A. when Lovers Lane, a real city street near what is now Union Station, was re-named Date Street in 1877. Date Street was later replaced by railroad tracks.
No, I don't think it was that kind of "date."