Welcome to our annual Salute to the Toilet, spotlighting the aesthetic side of that noble apparatus, recent technological breakthroughs in its operation and a memorable slogan it inspired (discovered by reader Carl Kruse.)
Right this way...
Now, before we begin our tour, a few ground rules.
Actually, our start will be delayed slightly while we wait for the men.
You know how long they can take to get ready.
In the meantime...
You'll have a chance to enjoy the surroundings.
And we can talk about some exciting new concepts
For instance, single-use toilet covers (noticed by Meredith Sewell.) The product's name says it all.
For that little tyrant of the household...
Photographed at the Nickelodeon Kids Choice sports awards at UCLA.
And smart toilets
That's right, m'am, the next time the old man forgets to close the lid, you need only hit the toilet's remote control handset, which you have control of. (Spotted by Doug Disney.)
We are also very excited about the possibilities of restroom service without leaving your car...
Though there are still a few problems to be worked out (one lane going in each direction or one circular lane?)
We are very proud of our research department
Which has found, for instance, that some long-held assumptions of faucets may be false.
Our studies continue in other areas
OK, it looks as though the restrooms are available
Actually a sign at a cleaners. Sorry, couldn't resist an old bathroom tour joke.
And the tour will begin.
Those with time constraints may wish to remain on foot.
Make sure not to forget your safety gear.
Steve Harvey can be reached at email@example.com. His Twitter handle is @sharvey9.