Burger porn

The guys at private-equity firm Thomas H. Lee Partners are probably too busy working up their $619-million deal for CKE Restaurants to wonder about operational stuff, but enquiring minds would love to know: What about the Carl's Jr. commercials? First breaking out with Paris Hilton's sudsy car-wash exhibition, the sex-slathered ads have gathered a humongous following among... well, you know, sex-obsessed guys. Or as former LAT writer Dan Neil put it last year:

I cannot pretend to be offended by these ads. Young men are coarse, callow, emotional imbeciles with suicidal dietary habits. In other words, from a marketing perspective, these ads are perfection itself, practically verite.

For all the flesh and innuendo, however, Carl's is not doing all that well. For the four weeks ended Jan. 25, the chain's same-store sales slid 9 percent, perhaps reflecting a decision not to discount prices, as other fast food outlets are doing. In recent weeks, Carl's has been pushing its salads, as seen with the recent commercial starring Kim Kardashian.

That spot received 258 million media impressions as of Jan 8., supposedly way more than any of the other sexy hucksters. Of course, media impressions are not the same as sales, which is the only thing Carpinteria-based CKE - and now Thomas H. Lee - really cares about. For now, check out this hilarious assessment of the ad strategy by Current TV's Sarah Haskins.