Bill Gross talking toilets

Gross is right - the billionaire founder of Newport Beach-based bond giant PIMCO and one of the most powerful money guys in the world, devotes the first half of his monthly newsletter to the automatic flush in public toilets.

Does it flush or doesn't it? Only the computer chip knows for sure. Sometimes, thought, after the paperwork has been filed, pants pulled up and an attempted getaway initiated- nothing happens. No flush. Well, what is one to do in such circumstances? You can't just leave it there, you know. Sometimes when the toilet's plugged and there's no plunger like in European bathrooms, you can get out of there quick with conscience in tact, but only, of course after checking to see that there's no one else in the restroom who might be able to testify against you in court for being a non-flusher. With electronic eye toilets, however, the conscience is never clear and so you wave your hand in front of the camera, hoping to convince it by the breaking of light waves that someone really has used the toilet and that somehow it just forgot, or maybe the deposit was so minuscule that it just didn't merit a flush. Hello in there! Having failed to trick it, however, the next step is to look for that little button in the back that you supposedly push in an emergency- sort of like a "break glass in case of fire" toilet equivalent.

Much too much time on his hands....