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Veronique de Turenne

Alas, Malibu

You never know what'll come up when you type the name of our little burg into a search engine. Here - and ignoring the various police log stories of carnage and mayhem involving the Chevy Malibu - is a sampling.

Playbill reports that "Darwin in Malibu," a play about the father of evolutionary theory kicking back on a Malibu beach, and starring Tony winners Richard Easton and Hal Linden, is now playing on Long Island, N.Y.

A bleep-filled "I own Malibu" ringtone featuring a Mel Gibson imitator is in high demand, according to

“Huge,” exclaimed Gary Ban, chief executive officer of Oasys, said when asked what kind of response “I own Malibu!” produced. “Absolutely huge.”

A visit to the beach cost David Hasselhoff a $7 parking fee, reports. Guards at the one-time "Baywatch" location, where Hasselhoff flexed his pecs as Mitch Buchanan for 11 years, didn't quite recognize him.

Hasselhoff shook his head and muttered, 'Man, I used to own this beach', before reluctantly paying the charge."

Malibu resident Jamie Gold took the $12 million prize in the World Series of Poker in Las Vegas this week. A serious player for only two years, Gold, a TV producer and former agent, persuaded poker great Johnny Chan to coach him in exchange for some Hollywood guidance. He beat nearly 9,000 hopefuls during a marathon 10-day game of no-limit Texas hold 'em.

He credited his upset victory, in part, to his experiences reading people in Hollywood meetings, according to the story.

"I have a greater sense of when people are telling the truth and when they are lying," he said.

Gold, who has represented James Gandolfini of "The Sopranos" and Felicity Huffman of "Desperate Housewives," seized attention early in the tournament by knocking off opponents and taking a massive chip lead that grew by the day.
Playing a loose, aggressive game, Gold bullied opponents with his chip lead and bewildered them with his style.
He goaded, he tweaked egos, he rattled the nerves of far more experienced players. Once while bluffing, he jumped from the table and mockingly bemoaned how much money he was about to lose on a bad hand, scaring his opponent into folding.

There's more, of course. Britney supposedly wants out of Malibu. Charlie and Denise may have reached a deal. Angelina is said to have had a good visit with her mom. Disney decides to release Mel's film.

And so it goes here in Malibu.

Next entry: SMCC heads for the beach

More by Veronique de Turenne:
Good night, 2016
Congratulations Lidia and Dan!
Rain and maybe more rain
Weather on the way
Sunset light
Previous story: He's pier-less

Next story: SMCC heads for the beach

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