Downtown Malibu is based on the '70s-era multiple shopping center model. Quaint it ain't.

You've got the Cross Creek Center, a U-shaped strip mall anchored by the movie theater, Marmalade Cafe, and Diesel Books, our very own (and beloved - locals brought the owners bouquets of flowers for the first few months after it opened) indy book store. Across the street is the Malibu Country Mart, another U-shaped mall. Instead of a parking lot at its center, there's a grassy expanse where C- and D-list celebs flock on weekends in search of paparazzi fans.

These days, it's mighty hard to get to either place. Endless slo-mo construction - achieving what end isn't exactly clear - has oozed out beyond the two malls, into Cross Creek Road and down to PCH.

Here's how it looks in the morning as flummoxed drivers try to get to the heart of what passes for town around here.