Evinrude was named for his purr, outsized for his eight-pound (yes, he's tiny) frame. His facial expression soon earned him the nickname, Crabbyrude. And though he's always been a bit, well, imperious, lately he's been downright cranky. When he suddenly started eating five (no joke) cans of cat food a day and stayed ravenous, I googled the symptoms for hyperthyroidism. Bingo, Evinrude has them.

It's in the early stages so it took two blood tests to figure it out, but Evinrude's thyroid has gone bonkers. And now he's going to have a somewhat alarming treatment -- an injection of I-131, which is an isotope of iodine.

He'll be radioactive (Rudioactive?) for four days. His poop and urine will be radioactive for 12 days after that. And then, when he comes home, he'll have to help pay for this crazy treatment. A newspaper route, or maybe sell porn on his My Space page.