Lisa Napoli came home from the doctor's office so annoyed she typed up these notes.
The Boobs As overheard by Lisa Napoli
Scene: The very crowded, very small waiting room of a doctorís office in Beverly Hills
Characters: Two women, one a strawberry blonde actress in her mid-forties, another with long black hair past her rear, appearing to be late thirties
(Midway through the conversation, I enter the room and sit four seats down from the women, one of whom is making no attempt to use her inside voice.)
People are so willing to introduce you to guys. Yesterday at the vet I met a woman who wanted me to meet her son, and then he called, and we talked for 40 minutes on the phone last night.
Seriously Long Haired Lady (SLHL)
I have someone for you. The mayor of Culver City.
What does he look like?
Not bad. Heís six two. Very fit
Heís divorced, I assume?
Does he do well for himself? Iím not a superficial person or anything, but.
MFL whips out her phone, ignoring prominently placed signs that say ďPlease turn off your cellular phones in waiting roomĒ
I think you need to meet Schwartzie. Heís really great.
Well, I think he might have wanted to go out with me, but heís a director/producer. I canít go out with a director, but you can.
(MFL dials phone)Schwartzie, itís me. Hey, are you still with that woman you were dating?
Oh, oh, I see.
Well, Iím sitting in this doctorís office waiting for a mammogramóhow fun is that--and I just met this really great woman and of course I thought of you.
Oh, oh, sheís moving in July. Oh, well.
Well, Iíll call back when I can talk more. Yes, Iíll have fun taking my shirt off. Yeah, Iíve been really busy. Did a bit (on some TV show.)
Wait wait wait. (She goes outside the front door to continue the conversation. Comes back in a few minutes later.)
Oh well, my timingís off.
With your friend.
Oh, yeah, heís such a sweetheart.
You should go on J-date. Seriously, there are so many great Jewish men out there looking for partners.
Have you ever done anything like that?
Well, Iím not a 100% jewish, so I canít do anything like that.
A NURSE COMES AND CALLS OUT MFLíS NAME, RESCUING ALL OF THE WAITING PATIENTS.