Jenny Burman Jenny Burman
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Top ten poop outs

Reports at Chicken Corner log a success at last weekend's poop event in Elysian Park, where over 40 volunteers cleaned our beautiful park. A good, enthusiastic turnout, which was offset by a few who said no.

Pooper troopers kept a list of the top ten reasons for not picking up poop in the park, and as you'll see the top ten list grew longer than ten:

Top 10 Reason not to Participate with the Pooper Scoopers
1. "I'm going out of town that day"
2. "I pick up after MY dog"
3. "My dog poops off the trail"
4. "I fill bags of other dogs poop all the time"
5. "It's Saturday"
6. "My dog poops before we leave our house"
7. "I have Bursitis"
8. "Who me? Get my hands dirty?"
9. "I don't do group anything"
10. "I...don't want my "tats" to fade in the sun and all the heat!"
11. The poop biodegrades in to the soil (true, but not before it has done harm to wildlife and native plants)
12. Plastic bags are not bio-degradable
13. Gotta go to work.
14. My dog is too shy to poop in the park
15. Other people pick it up, so why waste my time?
16. Gross
17. I just got my nails done
18. I'm texting
19. My dogs takes off, and I don't see where they do it
20. The coyotes don't pick up their skat

Chicken Corner particularly loves the last one, number 20. Coyotes don't pay taxes, either. So...does this mean you can claim a federal deduction for leaving a big pile of dog poop in the park?

Meanwhile: insider tip. Chicken Corner has heard from publishing insiders a bit of gossip concerning Dante's Inferno. Apparently, the author had written an entire circle of hell just for the citizens who did not pick up after their dogs (with bio-degradable poop bags). But Dante's editor convinced him to cut the 10th circle. Dante later told his friends Dana and Steve that he regretted cutting the 10th Circle. But, of course, it was too late.

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Previous story on Chicken Corner: Weekend diary

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